'Like An Angel Passing Through My Room'

'Like An Angel Passing Through My Room' - Madonna

Long awaited darkness falls
Casting shadows on the walls
In the twilight hour I am alone
Sitting near the fireplace, dying embers warm my face
In this peaceful solitude
All the outside world subdued
Everything comes back to me again
In the gloom
Like an angel passing through my room
Half awake and half in dreams
Seeing long forgotten scenes
So the present runs into the past
Now and then become entwined, playing games within my mind
Like the embers as they die
Love was one prolonged good-bye
And it all comes back to me tonight
In the gloom
Like an angel passing through my room
I close my eyes
And my twilight images go by
All too soon
Like an angel passing through my room

'Sunshine'

Hiya Love,
Eee, I've been so busy to find time to chat to you but I do hope that you've enjoyed the songs that Wayne has asked me to find for you. This next one is called 'Sunshine'...What's that? Ha!
I jest of course but we've hardly had any sunshine round here for ages. We seem to have had monsoon after monsoon. Still no hose-pipe ban so every cloud......right, I'll pop off, it's very late or early, I suppose but I'll make an ovaltine and slip back into bed. Hope you like it, but it's beyond me. I even consulted Noel Coward but he couldn't make neither head nor tale of it either.
Bye Love,
Edna x



'Sunshine' - Keane

I hold you in my hands
A little animal
And only some dumb idiot
Would let you go
But if I'm one thing
Then that's the one thing
I should know
Can anybody find their home
Out of everyone
Can anybody find their home
I hold you in cupped hands
And shield you from a storm
Where only some dumb idiot
Would let you go
But if I'm one thing
Then that's the one thing
I should know
Can anybody find their home
Out of everyone
Can anybody find their home
Lost in the sun
Can anybody find their home
Come on, come on, come on
Can anybody find their home
Oh oh-oh-oh-oh
Can anybody find their home
Out of everyone
Can anybody find their home
Lost in the sun
Can anybody find their home
Come on, come on, come on
Can anybody find their home
Oooooh
Can anybody find their home

'This Old Love'

'This Old Love' - Lior

Yes, yeah we're movin' on
Looking for direction
Mmm mm we've covered much ground
Thinking back to innocence
I can no longer connect
I don' t have a heart left to throw around
Oh, and time moves on like a train
That disappears into the night sky
Yeah, I still get a sad feeling inside to see the red tail lights wave goodbye
We'll grow old together
We'll grow old together
And this love will never
This old love will never die
Well money slips into your hands
And then slips out like it was sand
And those shoes that you could never seem to fill
I've chased so much and lost my way
Maybe a face for every day
That so casually slipped me by
Oh, time moves on like a train
That disappears into the night sky
Yeah, I still get that sad feelin' inside to see the red tail lights wave goodbye
We'll grow old together
We'll grow old together
And this love will never
This old love will never die
Morning comes
Sometimes with a smile
Sometimes with a frown
Yeah so I never want to worry
If you're gonna stay around
So let's grow old together
Baby you and I will
We'll grow old together yea
And this love will never
This old love will never die
Yes, yeah we're movin' on
Movin' right along

'When He Loved Me'

'When He Loved Me' - Sarah McLachlan

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when he was sad, I was there to dry his tears
And when he was happy, so was I, when he loved me.
Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just he and I together, like it was meant to be
And when he was lonely, I was there to comfort him
And I knew that he loved me.
So the years went by, I stayed the same
And he began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when he’d say "I will always love you."
Lonely and forgotten, never thought he’d look my way,
He smiled at me and held me, just like he used to do,
Like he loved me, when he loved me
When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When he loved me.

If Wayne went to Edinburgh.....he might see....

Nude' - Hairy Back Productions

A funny play about what might go through a life model's mind as they are posing for an art class.

3/5



















'Joan River's - A Work in Progress by a Life in Progress.

Theatre rather than stand up that is funny but also very moving.

4/5



















Danny Robins - 'Dannyfest'

With the increase in Festivals, soon everyone will have their own....this was Danny's.

3/5



















Craig Hill - 'Makes Your Whole Week'

Hilarious and off the cuff.

5/5

















Greg Fleet - 'Secrets and Lies'

Comedian from Down Under.

2/5



















'The Adventures of Butt Boy and Tigger'

Butt Boy and Tigger meet in a chatroom late one night. After a round of coy flirtation, the pair proceed to act out a series of intricate sexual scenarios.

5/5

Here is the link for the 'Spank' website on MySpace to see clips from the show.

http://www.myspace.com/spankcomedy


















Ben Moor - 'Not Everything is significant'

Amusing one man show from this funny
intellectual.

3/5










'Foreskin's lament' - Trailer Trash Theatre

Warning- Contains Tackle!

4/5

'Ae Fond Kiss'

Hello Love,
Eeee, I've been right busy, got a new hairdo and exorcised the neighbours cat after it became possessed by Genghis Khan.
Wayne has been enjoying himself catching up on some classic films with Orson Wells. He wishes they'd had films when he were alive because in his words, he has 'always had a penchant for lesbians'....I think it were lesbians. Not a big fan myself, though I always cheered on Billy Jean King. Anyway here is 'Ae Fond Kiss' by Robbie Burns, funny looks like a woman. Isn't it shocking how people mess with their hormones these days!





Ae fond kiss and then we sever;
Ae fareweel, and then for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me;
Dark despair around benights me.
I'll ne'er blame my partial fancy,
Naething could resist my Nancy:
But to see her was to love her;
Love but her, and love for ever.
Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met - or never parted,
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.
Fare-thee-weel, though first and fairest!
Fare-thee-weel, though best and dearest!
Thine be ilka joy and treasure,
Peace, Enjoyment, Love and Pleasure!
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae fareweel, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.

'All I Know'

'All I Know' - Five For Fighting

I bruise you
You bruise me
We both bruise too easily
Too easily, to let it show
I love you and that's all I know.
All my plans
Are falling through
All my plans depend on you
Depend on you, to help them grow
I love you and that's all I know.
When the singer's gone, let the song go on.
But the ending always comes at last
Endings always come too fast
They come too fast
But they pass too slow
I love you and that's all I know.
When the singer's gone, let the song go on
It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn
They say in the darkest night, there's a light beyond.
But the ending always comes at last
Endings always come too fast
They come too fast
But they pass too slow
I love you and that's all I know
That's all I know
That's all I know-oh...oh-oh.

For Willy Tert...'Bye, Bye'

'Bye Bye' - Mariah Carey

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

'Love's divine'

'Love's divine' - Seal

Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my, belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time through a prayer, to me
And all around me became still
I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name
Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had found all of my reality
I realize what it takes
'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name
Oh I, don't bend, don't break
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name
Well I try to say there's nothing wrong
But inside I felt me lying all along
But the message here was plain to see
Believe me
'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name
Oh I, don't bend, don't break
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name
Love can help me know my name.

'Hide and Seek'

Hello Love,
Hope you're having a lovely day. I'm hoping it will dry up a bit so I can get my smalls out on the line. It's not ideal when you have clients pop round and you have to dash round throwing your bloomers behind the sofa. Wayne came to me while I were in the bath so I was not best pleased. Thank heavens I had used plenty of bubble bath.
'Hide and seek' by Imogen Heap is the latest addition for your listening pleasure. Bit odd this one, sounds a bit like an ambroi.......androy.....a robot, and as for the words...hello? Is there a psychiatrist in the house?
Edna x



'Hide and Seek' - Imogen Heap

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy.
Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.
Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
(Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well?
Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best?
Of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need?
And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

'Wild Mountainside'

Hiya Love,
Edna here again. What greater gift is there than the gift of music?
Well, I'd be quite pleased with a new blender but I can see how a song can lift the spirits.
So, today Wayne offers you Eddi Reader and 'Wild Mountainside'. It seems it's a song written by Robert Burns and he seems particularly keen to add a Scottish flavour today. He would like to share 'Ae Fond Kiss' with you but sadly he can't but he says if you can seek out Eddi's version of that you won't be disappointed. I was quite surprised cos I was expecting a fella with a name like Eddi but no, it's woman, I think. Mind you you can never tell these days what with hormone replacement and sex changes.
'Ow, git down mamma!' .....sorry that were a bit of James Brown coming through. I'd better go see what he wants.
Edna x





"Wild Mountainside" - Eddi Reader

Beauty is within grasp
Hear the islands call
The last mile is upon us
I'll carry you if you fall
I know the armour's heavy now
I know the heart is tired
It's beautiful just over
The wild mountainside
Snow is falling all over
Out of clear blue sky
Crow is flying high over
You and I are going to wander
High up where the air is rare
Wild horses ride
It's beautiful, let's go over
The wild mountainside
Wild and free we roam
Only a mile to go
Wild and free we roam
Only a mile to go
Beauty is within grasp
Hear the highlands call
The last mile is upon us
I'll carry you if you fall
I know the armour's heavy now
I know the heart inside
It's beautiful let's go over
The wild mountainside
It's beautiful just roaming
The wild mountainside

'Sweet Fantastic'

Ooh,
I almost forgot...Wayne's new song for the tape thingy is 'Sweet Fantastic' by some chap called Ian Brown. Not my cup of tea really, but he sounds northern so that's good.
Have a listen see what you think.
Edna x




'Sweet Fantastic' - Ian Brown

You I have found
Hope you'll always be around
And though nothing lasts forever
Say you'll always be my pleasure
You I have found
I hope you'll always be around
And if everything lasts forever
Say you'll always be my pleasure
I feel fantastic
You make me feel majestic
You're sweet fantastic
Your love is hypnotizing
Your love is mesmerizing
Deep in my heart
I'm going right back to the start
And if everything lasts forever
Say you'll always be my pleasure
Whatever you turn your hand to
Wherever you follow your heart
Whenever you turn the heat up
Kick start to my heart
I feel fantastic
You make me feel majestic
Your sweet fantastic
Your love is hypnotizing
Your love is mesmerizing

What a Wonderful World!

Hiya Love,
Thanks for popping by. I'm quite tired as I were up late helping out at the home for the mentally bewildered. I don't receive any payment, it's all out of the goodness of my heart, but it can be very rewarding. I was giving Mr Snode a bed bath last night when I started channeling Wayne...as if Mr Snode wasn't bewildered enough...anyway I got Doris to take over and I slipped into the office to write down Wayne's instructions.
He's a bit peeved by all this bother in Georgia and it's made worse by having to show old Solvya.....Solyja....that russian writer, the ropes. He says we don't really appreciate what we've got down here until it's gone and he should know so he says I've to pop this little vid on about our Wonderful World. He thinks you'll like it.
Right, bingo tonight so I'd best get off and find me dabber.
Ta'ra Love.
Edna x

'Breathe Me'

Hello Love,
Edna here again.
Hope you've had a good day. I got a lovely ficus from the garden centre that just goes nicely by my Waterford Crystal ball on the mantle. Hubby had obviously been fingering it because it were covered in fingerprints. What is it with men and balls? They can't leave them alone!
So, I was polishing it with a dry cloth when who should I see waving back at me in it...no, not Wayne, but my great auntie Muriel.
She had an unfortunate accident on a zebra crossing, where spookily she were trampled by an actual zebra that had escaped from a private menagerie.
Now that is unlucky, isn't it?
Anyway she had a message from Wayne, who had gone for a cream tea with some Fairfax woman he knew. It's another song called 'Breathe Me' which is apparently popular with those who are six feet under. If you ask me she, Sia, sounds like she's half asleep. Why do the youth of today not enuns......enuncea........open their mouths when they sing? Now Maurice Chevalier, there's talent. Right, I'll leave you to surf in peace.
Bye for now.
Edna x



'Breathe Me' - Sia

Help,
I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch
I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

'Ageing Superhero'

Hello Love,
Wayne's song for today is 'Aging Superhero' by Newton Faulkner, a fella who, I think, needs to wash and cut his hair but I admit he is quite handy with his plectrum!






Ageing Superhero - Newton Faulkner

Every time I think of growing up I find out that I just slipped back,
I got it all wrong you know I,
Feel younger than I did when I was younger on a backwards track
I thought by now I could have figured it all out instead I'm further back,
Feels kinda stupid but I,
Feel 16 in my head but I guess it's only 5 years back
But I won't see the signs
It took so long but you were always on my mind, yeah,
For all the times I've tried to take a little time out for myself,
I'm just growing old alone again
But I find in my mind that I'm not.
Time is running out and I just want to say I'm sorry now,
Before I'm all alone again, and I'm broken and cold
The ageing superhero in me is tired
Because he's lived too fast for too long and he still longs to be inspired
I feel old, feel broke, feel cold and I can't fight back,
It sounds so stupid I,
But it's gone, this train won't run,
Guess it must be the track
But I won't see the signs
It took so long but you were always on my mind, yeah,
For all the times I've tried to take a little time out for myself,
I'm just growing old alone again
But I find in my mind that I'm not
Time is running out and I just want to say I'm sorry now,
Before I'm all alone again, and I'm broken and cold-
But I won't see the signs;
It took so long but you were always on my mind, yeah,
For all the times I've tried to take a little time out for myself,
I'm just growing old alone again
But I find in my mind that I'm not.
Time is running out and I just want to say I'm sorry now,
Before I'm all alone again, and I'm broken and cold
The ageing superhero in me is tired
Because he's lived too fast for too long and he still longs to be inspired.

Isn't Love Brilliant!

Hello Love,

There I were with my friend Nelly Futtock (she is also a clairvoyant) in my lounge, arguing. Well, when I say arguing we weren't really. Nelly and I are good friends but she were channeling Mao Tse-Tung and I were the Dalai Llama and we were arguing about Tibet. Suddenly, Wayne interupts and says "Edna, forgive my intrusion but I require your services forthwith." I left Nelly practising her tai-chi on my persian while I came to my laptop. Now I have a pussy and am very fond of it, well, since it were house trained anyway, so I can understand a little of how these guys must feel in this video. Wayne has a big heart and when he first saw this it made him wee...no sorry, he says 'weep'. It reminds him of his Father's Todger and how it used to leap up at the sight of him. Enjoy!

Christian, the Lion.

'A Case Of You'

There is a new tune on the tape thingy. Wayne loves this song though he is not advocating excessive alcohol abuse...




"A Case Of You " by Joni Mitchell

Just before our love got lost you said
I am as constant as a northern star
And I said, constant in the darkness
Where's that at? If you want me I'll be in the bar
On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue tv screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
And your face sketched on it twice
Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I'd still be on my feet
Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time that you told me, you said
Love is touching souls
Surely you touched mine
Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you
I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
And still be on my feet
I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said go to him, stay with him if you can
Oh but be prepared to bleed
Oh but you are in my blood you're my holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
I'd still be on my feet

'My Funny Friend and Me'

Hello, again Love,
I were just making some mash for us tea when Wayne said he wanted to share another song with you. It's by that bloke that's into tantric sex but despite that it does sound quite pleasant. It's called 'My Funny Friend and Me' and Wayne says it reminds him of Ned.
He seems quite perky and has been asked to mentor a new arrival, some Russian bloke who was also a writer, I think he said 'Solveyernitskin' or something. Anyway best be off, Hubby's watching the Olympics and I've got 'Big Brother' saved on my hard drive and he can 'Peking' think again if he is gonna stop me from watching Dale's last day in the Big Brother house!
Bye for now.
Love Edna. x




"My Funny Friend And Me" - Sting

In the quiet time of evening
When the stars assume their patterns
And the day has made his journey
And we wondered just what happened
To the life we knew before the world changed
When not a thing I held was true
But you were kind to me and you reminded me
That the world is not my playground
There are other things that matter
And what is simple needs protecting
My illusions all would shatter
But you stayed in my corner
The only world I know was upside down
And now the world and me, I know you carry me
You see the patterns in the big sky
Those constellations look like you and I
Just like the patterns in the big sky
We could be lost we could refuse to try
But we made it through in the dark night
Would those lucky guys turn out to be
But that unusual blend of my funny friend and me
I'm not as clever as I thought I was
I'm not the boy I used to be because
You showed me something different, you showed me something pure
I always seemed so certain but I was really never sure
But you stayed and you called my name
When others would have walked out on a lousy game
And you could've made it through
But your funny friend and me
You see the patterns in the big sky
Those constellations look like you and I
That tiny planet in a bigger guy
I don't know whether I should laugh or cry
Just like the patterns in the big sky
We'll be together till the end is nigh
Don't know the answer or the reason why
We'll stick together till the day we die
If I had to do this all a second time
I won't complain or make a fuss
When the angels sing that that unlikely blend
Are those two funny friends
That's us.

Nethershire

Hello Love,
Wayne has asked me to gather together some photos of Nethershire today and pop them onto a slideshow for you. He said he wanted some music for it so I chose some which I thought would be nice, from the film 'Brokeback Mountain'. Enjoy.

Introduction and 'Dying'

Hello Love,
Welcome to the Wonderful World of Wayne.
I first began to channel him a few weeks back, after I'd eaten some dodgy mackerel and at first I thought it were my irritable bowel flaring up but no, it were Wayne, coming through to me from the other side. I don't talk proper like what he does but I will try my best to convey to you what he wants to say as and when I can, but you have to realise I am a busy woman, a wife and mother and a volunteer at the Cleethorpes Home for the Mentally Bewildered on a Tuesday, so am pretty pushed for time.
He is a great lover of music and it seems he were an acunp.....accummpl.....a very good organ player but he is getting a taste for the music of today which he says 'permeates through the ether'. So, he firstly wants me to share a nice little tune entitled "Dying" by some fella called Five For Fighting; nice voice just sounds like someone is squeezing his bits. Wayne says if he had been able to play this on the organ he would have played it for some chap called Fairweather....he says you'll know who that is.
That's enough for know, got to go. I've got a pasty in the oven.
Bye for now Love,
Edna. xx

Dying - Five For Fighting

I'm Dying,
Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying,
Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again
I'm Dying,
Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm Dying,
Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent.
I'm Dying to live without you again
The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive
Dying,
Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying,
Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again